He better be voted in

Congrats to Troy Aikman for being named a candidate for the NFL Hall of Fame although it was obvious he'd be one since this was the 5th year after he retired. Obviously he will be one of the 15 finalists and he BETTER get inducted. Troy was a great QB and sacrificed a lot of personal accomplishments (ie stats) for the team and it sure paid off for him. I'd put Troy in my list of top 3 90s QBs with my man Steve Young being the best qb of the decade. :)

Even though I don't like the guy, it was pretty shocking Michael Irvin wasn't voted in last year. The only thing I can think of is they decided to wait until this year so him and Troy could go in together.

Oh and how about Derrick Thomas gets some love this year. He got screwed out of being inducted last year. Shame he died so young as there is no doubt in my mind his career stats would have been even more insane and I'd guess he would have easily passed 150 sacks. Wow.

Yeeeeah....I don't know where your hand has been so I will pass, thanks

Why do stupid customs become popular and get passed on from generation to generation? The one I am going to bitch about is hand shaking.

Hand Shaking started back in the old days when people at war with one another (or I'd think people who flat out just didn't like/trust each other) would shake the hand of their enemy to make sure they didnt have any hidden weapons up their sleeve and I also think to make sure they couldn't grab their sword or other weapon and kill them since people usually shake with their dominant hand which also happens to be the main weapon hand. So basically, shaking hands was a defensive maneuver. As we see today, it is unlikely people you meet are hiding weapons up their sleeve nor do we carry around swords so the original point of hand shaking is moot. Why do we do it then? Because somehow it transformed into a gesture of kindess and peace since its original purpose. I say to hell with this.

I don't like shaking hands for many reasons. The main reason is I flat out don't know where the other person's hand has been and wtf knows what germs they are carrying. If you don't clean your hands after you go to the bathroom then don't go and try and shake my hand.

Another reason I don't like it is that people feel the need to try and show their manhood/strength by their handshake and think that putting a high amount of strength in their grip shows how big and bad they are....this is retarded and is worse than those who try and compare their beastly selves to others by their penis size. To try and hurt another person's hand to show how powerful you think you are is outright asinine and I'd like to hope most see this. Now I am no sissy and have above average strength but I do not try and show this to others when shaking their hand because again, it is retarded.

The final reason why I don't like to shake hands is that it is just flat out pointless. Shaking your hand does not better my life and gives me no pleasure and I can introduce myself to you without any hand connection so please, spare me this silly act that you do simply because it is customary to do so now.

Many people will say "but Rob it is the mere gesture of shaking hands that is important not the act of doing it" and to that I say "SILLY." I should be able to say to someone "you know, I appreciate your gesture to shake my hand but I am not comfortable with that" but can I in our messed up society? Well I could but then it'd leave the other person offended for some silly reason and that doesnt do much to help my cause. If I initiated the handshake (BTW I never do) and the person refused saying they don't like to shakehands I wouldn't feel offended and would actually have more respect for the person and they'd get a point right off the bat on my coolness scale.

Anyway, I would love a boycott of hand shaking from here on out and I would LOVE to see how many germs get passed on and how many people get sick by the mere act of shaking hands with another person since most people have poor hygeine, ie not washing their hands after using the bathroom.

My advice? Try to avoid the hand shake but if you can't, make sure to go wash your hand afterward.

600lbs of cellulite love

OK I am sure I am not the only person who loves reading about studies or research that point out the obvious. You know, the great ones like "people who smoke have a higher risk of lung cancer" and other obvious crap like that where it is obvious people are getting paid to do nothing when carying out these studies or research.

One of my recent favs is this beauty I read on yahoo news that talks about how overweight/obese people (specificially women) can improve their sex life by losing weight...really? I NEVER would have guessed that and am thankful they spent money to do this study. I mean come on. Obviously losing weight will increase the sex life of people and again, especially women. First off, the self esteem will be much higher and they'll think they are sexier. Second, the actual ability to do the act easier without the weight is obvious. To be honest, I dont even understand how obese people can actually make intercourse work. Really, it baffles me because if both people have a lot of fat in that area I dont see how you can get Mr. Winkie (who has a bunch of fat covering part of his length) into the fleshy hole....the avg wang doesnt seem long enough to get by the mounds of fat that most obese women have below the waist. Do guys just slip it in there and hump away in a flab rather than the intended target? Mind boggling...and then there is the whole fact that you are supporting your own weight or the weight of someone else on you so if they are big then that makes it tough as crap as well. Do they just go doggy style? They must but I still dont see how in that position things can work because the layers of fat defense are still there to try and get by.

I have nothing really against obese people and am glad if they can get their hump on but I still dont understand how they do it.

Here is a study I recently conducted:

You need oxygen to stay alive

They gave me 4.5 mil for it too. Money well spent.

Silly sayings

We've all heard these sayings but they bug me:

- Money doesnt grow on trees

Um, technically it does since it is made of paper and paper comes from trees

-You can't have your cake and eat it too

WTF have a cake if you can't or won't eat it? Ok, in reality I understand the point of this proverb and realize how you are supposed to read it (can't have a cake and also eat it since the cake will be gone) but it still bugs me because it is silly.

- It's water under the bridge

SILLY...just say "it's in the past and I don't care anymore"

- Everything but the kitchen sink

SILLY AGAIN.

- Get a life

Um, the fact that you are saying that to someone means they obviously have a life. Why not just say "I think you're a loser because you don't seem to do anything with your life"


And my personal fav:

- I could care less

Oh man I LOVE THIS. Why? Because it is WRONG. When a person says "I could care less" they really mean to say "I couldn't care less" but sooooooo many people say it wrong and dont even think about what they are saying. If you "could care less" then it means you CARE so dont f'in say it if you are trying to tell a person you don't care. Just tell them "I don't care" so you dont look like a damn jackass by saying something stupid.

These are just a sampling of silly sayings that have come to my mind. Is it too hard for humans to just be direct instead of regurgitating silly sayings that somehow have been passed on from generation to generation?

Anyone have others they'd like to share?

Kick their #*%@ing asses son!!!

What is up with the crazy sports parents these days? When I played baseball back in the ancient days (ok it was only 15 years ago but feels like it was 150) the parents weren't so crazy over their kids playing sports and actually WANTED the kids to have fun. Lately you get the standard news story every few months about some whackjob parent getting into a fight with other parents at their kid's Pop Warner football game. I mean come on...it is a GAME and they are KIDS. I can only explain this in two ways:

1- parents see the huge contracts top pro athletes get (hell, even the ones who suck get paid a bundle) and think that little Billy is their meal ticket to the good life and figure they need to act like idiots at the games and also push their kids in these sports even if the kids arent having fun. The reality is that little Billy will probably lose interest in that respective sport when he is older and in high school and instead will turn to selling weed in front of the local Quickie Mart so he can score with the cheerleading captain who will spread em for the green stuff so no matter how much you can get into him playing little league the chances are it wont make him keep playing.

2- these parents are trying to live out their past glory days or missed glory days through their kids. I call this the Al Bundy syndrome. Hey, if you missed out on playing football or whatever when you were a kid then LET IT GO. If you did play and were good as a youngster but not good enough to make it a career then again, LET IT GO.Nobody cares that you scored 5 TDs in one game.

Nothing more pathetic than adults acting like they are on the field with the kids and putting so much value in the outcome of the games. Lame...let the kids have fun and support them no matter what. If they lose or if your kid just flat out sucks at his sport then hey, give the little guy a hug and take him out for some ice cream after the game. That is a much better plan than bitching at him like he just cost you millions in future earnings or has embarrassed the great legacy you left when you were playing little league sports that only you remember.

MLB officials the new Gestapo?

How in the blue hell can MLB officials force the Astros to open their roof for the world series game tonight? That is flatout BS! Last time I checked the teams have the right to handle their stadium the way they want as long as they dont have snipers pegging off the fans or strippers flashing their jugglies for 12 yr old boys. To force the Astros to open their roof is asinine as it takes away part of the HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE that teams are supposed to have. If MLB doesnt want teams to have an advantage with their home stadium then they should play the friggin world series at a neutral site. Hell, if the series goes back to Chicago I say MLB officials whip out huge heaters to take away the ChiSox advantage of playing in the cold windy weather...make the friggin temp there 85. That makes about as much sense as having the Astros open the roof.

I am amazed they were able to do this and it'd be amusing if one day they will start telling the teams who they want pitching each game.

What complete crap....I dont even give a crap about pro baseball these days and don't care for the Astros but the sheer principality of this annoys me.

Whoa!!

Whoa is all I have to say when I read this story and saw the picture/video. This girl is 12 years old but looks like a 6 month old as she hasnt developed (mentally or physically) and is basically stuck in the area of how most people are when they are 6 months old or around there. Man, there are a lot of freaky things that can happen to the body/people in life.

Honey we made it to 5 years!! Yahooooo!!!!

Why do celebrities, specifically actors, get married? If you are in hollywood and your marriage lasts 5 years you have hit the equivalent to 50 for a normal marriage. I just do not get why they waste their time....is it a publicity thing? It seems like more and more hollywood folk are getting married these days and more and more of those marriages are ending within 1-2 years. Now the biggest cause for a marriage to end is financial woe so we know these people are not using that as their reason to divorce. I'd guess the next major cause of martial breakdown is infidelity so I am going to guess that is why most of these marriages end which brings me back to my question- why do they get married in the first place? Seems more logical to just hook up with the person and hump away and then when you're bored go find some other celeb to hump and not have to worry about divorce and all that crap.

Maybe more celebs should marry people who arent in the same industry as them but I guess someone like say Jennifer Aniston marrying a burger king drive-thru employee just doesnt grab the same headlines as her marrying another actor who from the start you know is cheating or will be cheating on you. Surely there has to come a point in a celeb's life where he/she will actually want a real relationship and a real family yet they never seem to understand how to get that and continue to stay in the cycle of getting involved with some other celeb and having the relationship end in 1-2 years. It is odd to me but hey, not my life.

This Is Why Mariucci Is An Idiot

So I just read this article at ESPN.com and I cant believe Steve Mariucci gets paid millions of dollars to be a jackass. It is no wonder why the Lions are losers since they have a retard for a coach and apparently a retard for their GM (Matt Millen) who hired Mariucci and drafted Joey Harrington. How the hell could you continue to start Harrington if Jeff Garcia is good to go? Harrington sucks and every Sunday I often wonder how he got into the NFL. Hmm, maybe there is no such QB named Joey Harrington and it is in fact Sully Erna, the lead singer of Godsmack, who is QBing. I think him and Joey have a pretty good resemblance. Hmm, nah couldn't be....even Sully could play better than that.

I think Mariucci should be banished from coaching ANY level of football (yes even Pop Warner) and Matt Millen should go back to Fox as an announcer and tell us all how he loves Brett Favre which he used to do every week (regardless of the game he was announcing) when he was working there. I think if given the chance, Millen would orally service Favre.

I know the staff & management were different back then but is it any wonder why Barry Sanders wanted to get the hell out of the Lions organization?

Come to think of it, I shouldnt expect much since the team is owned by grandkiddy William Clay Ford Jr (CEO of Ford Motor Co. if anyone cant clue in) and anything that has the name "Ford" attached to it blows and is a POS. Only right that the team a Ford member owns blows.

Better Watch Who You're Messing With Sonny

I saw this article yesterday at Yahoo news and I laughed my ass off. How cool would it be to have a gaming grandma? She makes you some cookies and then whips your ass in your fav game all the while trash talking you. If either of my grandmas were still alive I'd want them to be gamers and I'd have them go online and kick a bunch of young punks in like UT and make sure they gave them that old school granny smack talk. Imagine finding out you just got beatdown at the hands of a geriatric.

It'd be sweet if my parents were gamers but all they do is play online poker...for points, not for any type of cash. Sheesh. I will say my mom is pretty fun to watch when I'm at their house as she talks trash about the other players if they are being douches and she is a hawk with her points.

Daddy these brownies taste funny

Yesterday I read this article at The Smoking Gun and damn, how can humans be this dumb? Anyone who does this should just be flat out castrated so they cant reproduce and pass on their dumb genes or screw up a child's life with their bad parenting...I dont trust just giving them a vasectomy so chop those suckers off:)

I love this pic

Here is a pic of IRL driver Danica Patrick and softballer Jennie Finch. Look at the difference! Danica looks like a midget compared to her like it is some special effect in a movie.

Stats

Danica 5'2" 100lbs
Jennie 6'1" around 175 lbs

I like the cut of Danica's jig and I bet she'd be someone cool to hang around with. She seems fiesty (I dig females who can kick ass or are fiesty) and she can drive well...how many females do you personally know that can actually drive well? Exactly, none. hehe